How to inculcate good Sanskars in Children ?

Some parents are troubled by thoughts such as, ‘My child is in the company of bad friends, and because of them my child is developing bad habits. Even after explaining repeatedly, the child does not listen’. This leads to common questions faced by almost all parents – How should we explain right and wrong to children ? How can we inculcate good sanskars in them ? With the aim of reducing such parents’ stress to some extent, this Article attempts a thoughtful dialogue with them.

In the Articles so far, we read – Every individual is governed by sanskars from past births embedded in the subconscious mind; What exactly are sanskars; Stages of inculcating sanskars as per Scriptures; and a analysis of the problem – ‘Why don’t children listen ?’ Let us read the concluding Part. (Part 3)

5. (Continued) Precautions parents should take while inculcating Sanskars in Children

5D. A balance between punishment and reward is necessary while inculcating sanskars : Just as encouragement is essential when inculcating good sanskars in children, it is also important, at times, to discipline them in order to eliminate bad habits. However, parents must ensure that this does not turn into excessive pampering or excessive punishment.

In some cases, parents overly indulge the child thinking that the child is still young, and remain under the illusion that the child will automatically understand when it grows up. However, by the time the child grows up, it may have developed the bad habit of behaving entirely according to his own wishes, and such a child goes beyond the stage of listening to anyone. Parents are then left helpless.

On the other hand, if parents are hot-tempered, they may adopt harsh disciplinary methods even for trivial matters. Instead of inculcating good sanskars, they insist that the child obey them, and continuously punish the child. As a result, the child becomes emotionless. If bitterness develops in the child’s mind toward the parents, the child eventually stops listening to them altogether. Hence, maintaining this balance is absolutely essential for parents.

5E. If bad habits have turned into mental disorders, timely psychological treatment is necessary : In some children, the influence of improper sanskars becomes so strong that it results in a form of mental disorder. However, the child does not realise that it is a disorder, and the parents too fail to intellectually accept it. For example, nowadays children watch mobile phones day and night, and this turns into an addiction. If the mobile phone is taken away and the child behaves aggressively or shows drastic changes in behaviour, parents should consult a mental health professional and take timely action.

With proper counselling and, if necessary, medication from a psychiatrist at the right time, the child can recover from this condition. However, the first step is for parents to recognise that this is a mental disorder.

Parents must understand that just as there are physical illnesses, the mind too can suffer from illnesses, and timely treatment can cure them.

The second step is that the affected child must be willing to visit a mental health professional and must have the desire to come out of the bad habit. If treatment is imposed against the child’s will, recovery may take longer. Therefore, as far as possible, parents should communicate with the child and try to explain how his/her behaviour is incorrect and harmful to his/her future life. Parents should themselves understand that the child’s mobile phone addiction is a mental disorder and also help the child understand it.

6. For inculcation of proper sanskars in children, it Is important for parents to begin spiritual practice and increase it daily

As stated in an earlier Article on this topic, in today’s times the influence of Raja and Tama components is predominant. Therefore, it is not easy to eliminate inappropriate sanskars. When an individual is under the influence of such sanskars, he/she develops a cover of Raja-Tama components. As a result no matter how much an average individual explains to him/her what is right, it becomes difficult for good sanskars to take root. However, sometimes when such an individual comes in the company of a Saint, the Saint’s words influences him/her and their bad habits are removed. The reason for this is the Chaitanya (Divine consciousness) in the Saint’s speech.

Keeping this principle in mind, if parents increase their own spiritual practice, Chaitanya will enter their speech, and whatever they tell their children will begin to have an effect. Hence, parents must focus more on enhancing their own spiritual practice.

Fundamentally, as individuals, we cannot change anyone; however, since Almighty God is the Creator of every being, He can shape them as He wills. Keeping this in mind, parents should surrender unto God and pray for His grace so that proper transformation takes place in their children.

Through such efforts, parents’ own spiritual practice will grow, and positive change will be seen in children. Even if, due to the intensity of bad sanskars, the child does not change, spiritual practice will provide the parents with the strength required to face the consequences arising from those inappropriate habits appropriately.

God Himself will inspire the parents on how to inculcate sanskars in children and what actions will make children listen and will also get those actions performed through the parents. Ultimately, the benefit of spiritual practice accrues to the parents themselves.

7. Effective actions for inculcating good sanskars in children

A. Children should be introduced to spiritual practice from an early age. Spiritual practice increases Chaitanya and awareness of right and wrong . As sanskar of spiritual practice forms on the subconscious mind, inappropriate sanskars automatically begin to weaken. Hence, children should be encouraged from childhood to chant God’s Name, recite hymns, etc.

B. For formation of the sanskar of spiritual practice on children, parents themselves must remain consistently engaged in spiritual practice. Every evening, the entire family should sit together before God and recite hymns such as Ramraksha Stotra and Maruti Stotra, and practice chanting daily for a fixed duration.

C. Light an incense-stick daily before God and apply its sacred ash (Vibhuti) to the children. Add vibhuti or cow urine to the children’s bathing water.

D. If possible, sit daily for 15 minutes soaking the feet in rock-salt water while chanting God’s Name, then discard the water and wash the feet. Get the children to do this practice as well.

E. Wash your feet before entering the house.

F. Sit together daily for meals and engage in spiritually aligned conversation.

G. While children are young, do this every day. When they are half asleep and before waking in the morning, whisper in their ear that God likes it when we avoid wrong actions and practice right ones.

For example, insisting on a mobile phone displeases God; therefore, ‘Instead of demanding a phone from my mother, I will play outdoor games or read books’.

H. Avoid watching inappropriate films in front of children. Try to teach them what should and should not be watched.

I. Teach children through your own actions how to speak and behave with elders. For example, greeting parents with respect.

J. Make efforts to develop children’s interest in outdoor games as much as possible.

K. To cultivate love for Dharma and the Nation, send children to nearby Balsanskar Classes being organised by the Sanatan Sanstha.

Some such actions will naturally come to your mind that can prove effective in inculcating sanskars in children. Along with this, guidance on how to implement the process of Personality Defects Removal and Ego Removal to facilitate removal of negative sanskars on the subconscious mind is provided in the satsangs conducted by Sanatan Sanstha. Parents should learn this process through these satsangs and make their children practice it as well. Sanatan’s Texts on this subject are also available, and parents can benefit from it.

May the points mentioned in this Article prove useful to parents everywhere and help them in inculcating sanskars in their children. With a prayer at the Guru’s Holy feet that we too may bring about positive changes within ourselves and act appropriately according to these points, we conclude this article.

– Mr Yogesh Jaltare (Editor-In-Chief, Sanatan Prabhat Media Group)

As sanskar of spiritual practice forms on the subconscious mind, inappropriate sanskars automatically begin to weaken !