In this article, Sadguru (Dr.) Charudatta Pingale provides unique information on how a disciple’s thoughts about his Guru undergo changes step-by-step. Howsoever hard I may have tried, I would not have been able to think like this. I am grateful for receiving such invaluable knowledge from Him.
– Paratpar Guru (Dr.) Athavale
1. Perceiving that the debt to Guru can never be repaid
1A. Having ego of paying off Guru’s debt and while doing satseva, and perceiving that howsoever hard we may try to repay this debt, it will keep increasing proportionately : We can never pay off the debt owed to the Guru. I recollect some incidents of the past. Initially, I had ego about repaying the Guru’s debt. I was not able to understand that, we can never repay the Guru’s debt. Later, while performing satseva I realised – ‘Whatever (Satseva) I perform for the Guru, whatever Anand (Bliss) I obtain in return is given by the Guru only. Therefore, whatever efforts I make to pay off this debt, it keeps increasing proportionately. At that time, the Guru only suggested – ‘Borrow so much from me, that you will not be able to repay’.
1B. Creation of bhav to keep spreading Gurudev’s mission, asking for strength from Him to accomplish it and realising my own incapability through a spiritual experience that Guru is the doer of everything : At that time, a bhav (Spiritual emotion) developed in me that paying off the Guru’s debt means spreading His mission and asking Him for whatever is needed to accomplish His mission. I will ask for so much that Gurudev will say, ‘You will not be able to repay it now’. Then, I realised my own incapability and became aware that I am not able to do anything. Gurudev is giving me the spiritual experience that He is the doer of everything.
2. Guru only made me remember that ‘I am incapable’,
when I forgot about it
2A. In the whole Universe, Guru is the only one we need to surrender unto : Every ‘Bodhchitra’ published in Daily ‘Sanatan Prabhat’ is very profound. The meaning of the word ‘Samartha’ in it is very deep. The only One to whom we can surrender to in the whole Universe is – Gurudev.
2B. Gurudev reminding me that I am the medium through which He conducts His mission : Gurudev gives me spiritual experience – ‘You are the medium through which I conduct the mission’. In the interim period, I had forgotten this bhav. Gurudev made me realise this from within. He said, ‘Experience that now I alone carry out the mission, not you’.
3. I had an urge to go to Ramnathi Ashram to meet Gurudev but later realised that I was entangled in the thoughts of Ramnathi and in the physical form of the Guru
Intermittently, I used to feel like visiting Ramnathi Ashram. I used to think, ‘Let me go to Ramnathi to chant and perform spiritual remedies. I will be able to at least see Gurudev’. Then I realised that I am craving to be in Ramnathi Ashram and to meet Gurudev personally, which means I am entangled in His physical form. I felt that I should either see Him or meet Him. I knew that this was not necessary, yet I could not avoid this attraction.
4. Realising the change in my thought process while being
in the company of Shrichitshakti (Mrs.) Anjali Gadgil and Shrisatshakti (Mrs.) Binda Singbal
Shrichitshakti (Mrs.) Anjali Gadgil and Shrisatshakti (Mrs.) Binda Singbal had come to the Sevakendra 4 months ago. At that time I noticed changes taking place from within. When I came in contact with Shrichitshakti (Mrs.) Anjali Gadgil and Shrisatshakti (Mrs.) Binda Singbal, I started getting different thoughts, such as – ‘Why get involved in the physical dimension ? Ramnathi Ashram is the name of those walls, name of the premises. Saint Bhaktaraj Maharaj has written in His Holy text – ‘These walls are not called Ashram’. Saint Bhaktaraj Maharaj’s Gurudev (Shri Anantanand Saish) had said, ‘My Ashram is being built but I will not call it physical, I will call it sagun (Materialised)’.
5. Being able to experience the bhav that I am in Ramnahi Ashram itself, yet having the desire to meet Gurudev
I thought from within, ‘Ramnathi Ashram is a materialised form of God. Ramnathi Ashram’s form is expansive, like how we see on a mobile – we can enlarge a picture by zooming on it. We should have a bhav that we are always living in Ramnathi Ashram. I had this thought when I was with Shrichitshakti (Mrs.) Anjali Gadgil and Shrisatshakti (Mrs.) Binda Singbal. At that time itself, I could experience the bhav that I am in Ramnathi Ashram now; yet I had the desire to meet Gurudev sometime.
6. Realising that it is wrong to have a desire to meet Gurudev when thousands of seekers have not even seen Him, some have not had the opportunity to come to Ramnathi Ashram
All spiritual distress disappeared when Gurudev called. He said, “All seekers there need you, then why do you wish to come here ?” I realised at that moment that I think only of myself in desiring to meet Gurudev. Thousands of seekers have not yet even seen Him, have not had the opportunity to come to the Ashram or cannot come due to some reason. Hence, thinking that I would go to Ramnathi and meet Gurudev in person amounts to getting entangled in His physical form; this is wrong.
7. Despite having the spiritual experience that
Gurudev is with me, feeling anxious to see Him
I thought to mself that I have had the spiritual experience of Gurudev being with me and this is in my subconscious, yet why can I not remain in communion with Him ? Thereafter, I started making the required efforts. When I thought of going to Ramnathi and meeting Gurudev in person, I could remain steady and perform satseva. Yet, I resolved that I am not going to leave the sagun (Materialised aspect). Everything else is fine. With this thought, I will perform my satseva. However, God has come to emancipate the whole Universe. Gurudev is telling me from the perspective of the mission – ‘I am with you (all)’; yet, I feel restless when I think of seeing Him.
I have surrendered everything to Him. Let me not have any desire different from that of my Guru. Whatever mission Gurudev wishes to accomplish, let my wish not become a hurdle in it. I pray unto Your Holy feet – ‘Shower your unique grace on all (not only on me) who have tremendous faith in Your Holy feet, those who are trying for God-realisation or establishing the ‘Hindu Rashtra’ as per their capability’.
– Sadguru (Dr.) Charudatta Pingale (National Guide, Hindu Janajagruti Samiti, 25.6.2018)